Ukwakheka Kokuvuselelwa Kwengqondo

Ubuntu bukaShaya Ishida busebenza ngethuluzi elingokwengqondo elibonakala liyinto engokwemvelo. Ukuhlakanipha kwakhe okungokomzwelo kusebenza kancane njengesici esingenzi lutho futhi njengethuluzi elilungiswe kahle, ukuthatha izinkulumo ezilula, ukuzwana kwezwi, nokuxabana okungaqondakali phakathi kwabantu. Lokhu kumenza akwazi ukulawula amandla ashukumisayo angabonakali kakhulu kuze kube yize kubangele ukuxabana. Ukuguquguquka kwakhe kuqhubeke kakhulu kunokunye okungaqondakali; kumelela ukuhluleka kolwazi okumenza aphinde ahluleke ngokuhlala njalo kodwa kube yizihibe. Lapho icebo liwa, akasheki ukunyakaza ngokushesha kodwa kunalokho angenza ithonya ngokushesha okusheshayo, ukulahla lapho ehluleka khona ukukhubazeka. Lokhu kuveza izisusa ezicini ezingqondweni. [FFF:] [1], okuvumela ukuba amakhono okukhona phakathi nobunzima obuqinile phakathi nobunzima obubonakalayo. Lokhu kuveza ithonya lomphakathi wakhe, kodwa kuveza ithonya elinamandla kakhulu ngenxa yobunzima obuqinile.

UResilience, endabeni kaShaya, akukona ukungabikho kokuhlupheka kodwa ikhono lokukuveza. Izinga lokubuya kwemali ngemva kokulahlekelwa komuntu noma ukukhashelwa lisikisela ukucwenga ngaphakathi okuvela kokubili embonweni wemvelo futhi kufunde ukubhekana nokubhekana nakho. Uthatha igama elithi ngokwakhe-eye-eyesting [[FLT:]] [] inkolelo ekhonweni lomuntu lokuthonya imiphumela. Lenkolelo ayibonakali njengesiqinisekiso sokuzidla kodwa njengesithukuthula ukuthi angakhuthazela futhi ekugcineni aphinde akhe. Ngokubalulekile, amandla akhe ayenza iqine kakhulu: ukuthamba kwakhe okungokomzwelo, okuqinisa ukuzwela kwakhe, okuqinisa uzwela kwakhe. Lokhu kwenza ukuba ngokuphumelelayo ukukwazi kwakhe ukuzuza impumelelo. Nokho, ukukwazi ukwenza le ndawo ekwakheka kakhulu.

Umphumela Wecala: Umthombo Nezici Ezisobala

Ukuzisola eShaya Ishida akuyona nje indlela elula yokuzisola ngokudukisa okukodwa; kuyisimo esinamahlalakhona esifuzukile. Izimpande zaso zisakazekela ezindaweni ezintathu eziyinhloko: izinqumo ezingenakuguqulwa, ukuhluleka okucatshangelwayo ukuvikela abanye, nobunzima obungaqondakali bokulindela. Izinqumo zangaphambili zimhlupha ngokucatshangelwe ngokwethule okwenziwa ngokungathi uzizwa unecala. Lokhu akukhohlwanga okuphambene kodwa izinkumbulo ezicacile ezivezwe ngokucatshazeka kokuzingela ngengozi. UShaya uqonda umongo onengqondo wezinto azikhethayo. Wazenza njengoba anikeza ulwazi olukhona ngesikhathi, kodwa lokhu kuthulisa ulwazi olungokomzwelo. Lokhu kuveza lokho abasemtholayo abasese bemcacela [FLD:] [1]

Umthombo wesibili (ngoba uqapheleka nomthwalo wemfanelo wokusiza abanye) uwenza ufiphaze umkhawulo phakathi kokunakekela nokungaguquguquki. Shaya uveza ukuhlupheka kwabamzungezile, uzizwa enecala hhayi nje kuphela ngenxa yokulimala okungenzeka wabangela kodwa futhi futhi nokulimaza ahluleka ukuvimbela. Lokhu kudala isimo sokuzisola phakathi kwe-headar yakhe ehlala njalo ngenxa yezimpawu zokucindezeleka, futhi zonke izinkathazo ezibonakala komunye umuntu zibonakala njengephutha lomuntu siqu. Lokhu kuhambisana nomonakalo [[FLT: 0] owehluleka ukuvimbela icala elibi [[FLT], , futhi kubangela ukuzizwa enecala elibini lobuhlungu, okungakholeki kakhulu, futhi okungabangela ukuzihluphaza ukukhathazeka. Inkinga yenkinga yakhe engokokuthi ibhuntshiswe i - juqu. Ithemba lesithathu, ngokuvamile lisebenza ngethemba elivamile, futhi lisebenza nge-speactivesss, i-hectivesss. Uma idinga njalo, impood yephutha, i-heasemssss.

Indida Yesihe: Amandla Ashintsha Ubunzima

I-Empathy `Shaya'' edumile kakhulu'.'Intengo efihlekile eguqula amandla akhe abe yisici secala. Uzwela lweqiniso ludinga umngcele ocacile phakathi komuntu nomunye, ukuvumela isimo semizwelo ukuba sizwakale ngaphakathi. Ngoba uShaya, lokhu kuveza i-plarosia kuba ugibe: akakwazi ukubona ubuhlungu ngaphandle kokububamba, futhi uma eqale wathatha izindleko eziyimfihlo, ngeke akwazi ukubusebenzisa kalula ngaphandle kokuzinika isabelo somthwalo wemfanelo. Lokhu kungu- i-pathy-guilt nexus, umjikelezo obangela ukuzwela okukhulu kwabanye ukuhlupheka okungalawuleki kakhulu, okwenza ukuba aqaphele futhi aqaphele izizathu ezisha. Ngokungaphezulu, angase aqale acabange noma yisiphi isikhathi sokuba necala ngaphambi kokuba aholele, futhi aqale ukuziqhathelele kusuka kunoma kudala izimo." Angasenziwa umuntu othile angase aqale “oke aqale aqale aqale ukuthatha isinyathelo."

Lokhu kubangela ukuba ubuhlobo bakhe bube nzima. Abanganini abake bakwazisa uzwela lwakhe bangase bazithole benobuqili belawula isimo sakhe esingokomzwelo, begwema ukudalulwa okungabangela umuzwa wakhe wecala. Bona kanye ukuhlobana afisa ukubhekana nakho kuyakhahlazwa yimingcele evikelayo abanye abamisayo ukuze bagweme ukumthwesa umthwalo. Uzwela lwakhe, ngokungenangqondo, luqala ukuqeda ubuqiniso bokusebenzelana kwakhe; abantu baqala ukuzibuza ukuthi ukusekela kwakhe kuqotho noma kushukunyiswa isidingo esiphuthumayo sokuvimbela umuzwa wakhe wecala. Izincwadi ezingokwengqondo zihlukanisa phakathi [[FLT: 0] uzwela oluqinile [ult:1] (ukuzwa okungaboni ukuthi omunye uzizwa kanjani) kanye nokuzwa kwakhe phakathi kozwela. [FLT.FLT:2]] zwela ludinga ukuzwana kozwela phakathi nokuqonda kwakhe okunezentengokwayo.[FLT] [FLT]] [ult:] [ult]

I - Chokerie’s List on Coog Declaration Nemisebenzi Engokomzwelo

Ithonya lemizwa ngokwengqondo nengqondo lovalo olungapheli libuye lizwakale ngaphakathi kuShaya ngezindlela ezilulaza ngokuqondile amandla akhe. Ukuhlakanipha okungokomzwelo, okuxhomeke ekuqondeni okuqondile nasekuzihloleni imizwelo, kuyasonteka lapho umuzwa wecala usebenza njengesisefo. Ukungathathi hlangothi ebusweni bomngane wakho kungachazwa njengokudumala; ukusabela okubambezelayo esigijimini kungase kufundwe njengokulahla okungasho lutho. [[FLT: 0] ubandlululo lususa amandla akhe angokomzwelo futhi luholele ekulungiseni inhlalakahle yezenhlalo, ukufuna ukuqiniseka, noma ukuvimbela ukuxabana okudingekile. Ukuvumelana kwakhe nokuqonda, manje okukhona okuthinta inkumbulo esebenzayo, kushiya ukunaka okuncane kwezinkinga zekhono lokusungula. Inkinga yokulungisa inqubo esetshenziswayo ezindaweni ezisetshenziswayo."

Ukukhathazeka, umngane ovamile wecala elingamahlalakhona, unciphisa amathuba akhe okuqonda. Usuke engakwazi ukuzwa amathuba futhi avumelane kakhulu nosongo − ikakhulukazi usongo lomphakathi lokungamukeleki noma ukulahlwa. Lokhu kusuka endleleni yokusondela kuya ekugwemeni ukuma kwakhe okuqinile okwamenza aphumelele. Ukuzimela kwakhe, futhi, kuba nenkinga. Ubuyeka, kodwa ubuye ashaye ngamandla, kodwa ukubeka izindinganiso zakhe ezingaqondakali, futhi ukunqwabelana kwamaqabukwa amacembe amancane ecala esisekelweni sakhe esimweni sakhe esingokomzwelo. Ukwenziwa kube yimiphumela eyingozi kakhulu. Ngenxa yokuthi umuzwa wecala utshela ukuthi akakufanele aphumelele, angase alulaze ukuphumelela kwakhe siqu, kodwa angahlanganiselani isimilo, futhi angahlangani nakudumisa. Amandla ancipheka kakhulu.

Ukucwaninga ngenqubo yokuzihlela nokuhlola umuzwa wecala kukhomba ekuhilelekeni kwe- ephambili ye-cortex kanye ne-anteor congulate corte cortex, izifunda ezihlobene nokuzilungisa nokuzihlola kobuhlungu. Kubantu abanemiqondo yecala engapheli, lezindawo zingaba nenkinga enkulu kakhulu, ukwenza isignesha esiqinile somzimba somuntu siqu ohlala njalo. Ngoba uShaya, lokhu kusho ukuthi ubuchopho bakhe buhlale buhlola amaphutha okuziphatha, ngisho nasezimweni zokuziphatha okungathathi hlangothi. Isimo esibangelwa yisimo sokuzilimaza okuqhubekayo, nakuba siwusizo, singakhithikathi uma singenakukwazi ukuhlukanisa. Ukuzilungisa kudinga umgomo wokuzibangela ukuba necala.

Isithunzi Sezinqumo Zesikhathi Esidlule Nosizi Olungaxazululwanga

Ezinye zecala likaShaya alikho ngokwemvelo kodwa ukusabela okungokwemvelo ezimweni eziyinkimbinkimbi ngokokuziphatha lapho kungekho khetho oluhlanzekile. Kungenzeka ukuthi uye wenza ukukhetha okubangele umonakalo omkhulu, ngisho noma lokho kukhetha kwakudingeka noma kuphoqelelwe. Ezimweni ezinjalo, umuzwa wecala uhambisana [ nokulimala kokuziphatha [, umqondo owawusebenza ekuqaleni ekulweni nomuntu ongomakade kodwa owephule kakhulu izindinganiso eziqinile. Unembeza ohambisana nokulimala kokuziphatha ubangelwa umbono wokwephula lokho umuntu azi ukuthi kulungile, ngokuvamile emongweni lapho ukwephula kwakungenakugwenywa khona. Ngaphandle kwesimiso sokulungisa isenzo, lelicala liba yihlazo lokuzishoshoshoshoshoshoshoshoshoshosholo, “ukuthiwa kwami kuyinto embi. ” UShaya, umuzwa wecala onecala phakathi kwakhe ongafanele futhi owenziwa ngokungafanele.

Usizi luvame ukuhambisana naloluhlobo lomuzwa wecala, ikakhulukazi uma izinqumo zesikhathi esidlule ziholela ekulahlekelweni. UShaya angalwa nobandlululo oluqinile [, ekholelwa ukuthi kufanele azi khona manje. Lokhu kuguquguquka okungaqondile kumenza angazi ukuthi umdala wakhe uzwela alubonisa ngokukhululekile kwabanye. Usizi alubangelwanga nje kuphela yilokho okulahlekile kodwa kulowo akholelwa ukuthi ngabe wakhethwa ngendlela ehlukile. Usizi lubangela umuzwa wecala, futhi lenhlanganisela ingaholela ekubeni nohlobo lozwela lwemizwelo: inkathi yamanje ihlaselwa izinkumbulo eziguquguqukayo, futhi injabulo izwa ingenamthetho. Ukuphula lesi simo kudinga ukubalalelwa futhi kungaphinde kuchazwe ngokulinganayo.

Ukubhekana Nemishini: Ukusuka ekuzikhetheni kuya ekwamukeleni okuqinile

Ukubhekana ne-Shaya okuphumelelayo kuqala ngemibuzo enjengethi “Yini engingayifunda kumngane osesikhundleni?” [[FLT:]], i-rumination iyabuza, “Yini engiyenzileyo?” Ngaphandle kwesinqumo. Ukuzihlela okungaqondiwe yimibuzo enjengokuthi:“ Yini engingayifunda kumngane osendaweni?” noma “Yini engingayisho kumngane ongayi kuleyo ndawo?, i-screctrames ekujeziseni ukuze akhule. Amathuluzi anjengamathi afake ngempoqo, aphinde alungise inqubo yokuzivivinya i-sbeorbaortary therapy [[FLTY:3], futhi ubhale incwadi (ongeke ithunyelwe) azizwa enecala angayisiza ukuzuza futhi ayihlole ngokulungisa ngokulungisa inqubo yecala. Lokhu kuhlola ngokulungisa icala kodwa kudinga ukuzibiza phakathi kokuzibiza icala.

Ukufuna ukusekelwa akulona uphawu lobuthakathaka kodwa ukusebenzisa imithombo yezenhlalakahle. Inhlangano kaShaya kumelwe ihlanganise abantu abangaqinisekisa imizwa yakhe futhi baphikise ukuhlanekezela kwakhe. Amaqembu ontanga, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kungokomthetho noma ngokwethukela, anikeza ikhambi elinamandla lokuzehlukanisa necala. Ukuzwa abanye beveza izimpi ezifanayo. Inkinga efanayo cishe kubantu abahlobanayo. U-‘acan ’ uphazamisa inkolelo yokuthi yena yedwa akanasimilo. Indima yomthululeki womuntu oyimfihlo ayimkhululi kodwa ukuhambisana naye, ifaka ubufakazi bezinhlungukunga naye ngaphandle kokumenze acwile. Lo mkhuba, owaziwa ngabantu abamhlobayo [[[FLT:]] [FLT]] [FLT]] [12:1], usiza ukubuyisela umqondo wokuphepha kwemizwa kwemizwano yakhe futhi ukulondoloza umuzwa wokuzinyelwa.

Imikhuba yokucabanga ithatha isikhathi eside. Umqondo usho ukufunda ukuqaphela ukubonakala kwecala esiswini, njengoba kuvezwe emihlelweni enjenge Ukucindezeleka okusekelwe ekuzibekeleni emqondweni , kuqeqesha ikhono lokuqaphela imicabango nemizwelo ngaphandle kokuzichaza. Lokhu kusho ukufunda ukuqaphela ukubonakala kwecala, iqhina esiswini sakhe, ukuvala umphimbo, imicabango ewubala, kanye nokuzibeka njengecala. Lokhu kuyisenzakalo esingokwengqondo, hhayi iqiniso. Lokhu kudala igebe elinzima phakathi kokusabela nokungasabeli. Kulelo cwecwe, angakhetha ukuziphatha okuvumelana nezindinganiso zakhe kunokuba azizwele ekuzinyameni kwakhe okunecala. Ukwamukela, ukuvuma nokuzimisela kwakhe, kanye nokulahlekelwa kwakhe, nokungamukeleki kwesizathu sokungamukeleki kwempi; kungasho ukuthi kungasho ukuthi kuveza amandla angathi angathi avunyelwe.

Ukubuyisela Umuzwa Wecala Njengesiqondiso Sokuziphatha, Hhayi Inkosi

Uvalo, uma lulinganiswa futhi lungalinganiswa isikhathi, lufeza umsebenzi obalulekile wokuziphendukela kwemvelo nomphakathi. Kubonisa ukuthi inani liye laphulwa futhi lashukumisa ukuziphatha okuhlukile. Inselele kaShaya ayikona ukuqeda umuzwa wecala kodwa ukuhlukanisa ubukhulu bawo nomsebenzi. Lokhu kuhilela ukushintsha icala [[FLT: 0]] ukuphambuka kulelonani eliphakathi [ukwethembeka], ukwethembeka, ukwethembeka, noma uzwela olufanayo. Inhloso yokukhetha [[FLT:] ukuhlukanisa, isilinganiso sokubaluleka nokubaluleka kwezimpawu ezicacile. [[FLT:]. [inani elicacile lomfanekiso]. Uma icala libonisa ukuthi uphambukile enanini lomphakathi, ukwethembeka, noma uzwela, noma ukuqondisa okufanayo esikhathini esizayo. Izenzo ezibonisa ukuthi izilinganiso ezicacile, izingahlukanisa kahle, amagama anquma ukuthi anezingalingani nezimpawu ezifanele, izinombolo eziwuveza kahle, izikhala eziwululeki kahle.

Ukuvuselela le-frame kusho ukuthi uShaya angaluzwa udosi lwephutha ngaphandle kokuphetha ngokuthi liyamchaza. Ufunda ukuthi, “Ngiyazisola ngalesosenzo, futhi ngizolungisa uma kungenzeka, kodwa ngingaphezu komzuzu wami onzima.” Lokhu kuma kuyavumelana nomqondo [wokuzwelana ngokwakhe [uzwela] ngokuchashwa ngohlobo lukaDkt. uKristin Neff, ohlanganisa ukuzenzela umusa, umuzwa ovamile wesintu, nokuqaphela. Ngokuziveza yena ngokwakhe uzwela olufanayo, uShaya uphula uzwela lwendlela yozwela. Lokhu kumenza azizwe ekhululekile ngaphandle kokuncitshiswa ngokokuziphatha. Lokhu kuvumela ukuba abe nokuhlakanipha, aphile, futhi angakwazi ukuzwa, ngokuzizwela, ngokuzizwela, ngokuzinakekela, ngokuzizwela.

Izindlela Zokwanda Kwangemva Kwempi

Ubunzima bokulwa necala elingapheli bungaveza lokho izazi zengqondo ezikubiza ngokuthi ukukhula kwe-traumatic post `Ushintsho oluqinisekile lwengqondo olubangelwa ubunzima. KuShaya, lokhu kukhula akubonakali njengokungabi nacala kodwa njengobuhlobo obuguquliweyo nayo. Angavela enokwazisa okujulile ngokukhubazeka kokuphila, umuzwa oweqiniso wokulinganiselwa kwakhe, kanye nekhono elicebile lokusondelana ngenxa yokungabe esafihla ukungapheleli kwakhe. Uzwela lwakhe, kanye nomthombo wobuhlungu, uba umthombo wokuhlobana okukhulu ngenxa yokuthi akusahlangani nothile okungazenziwa. Angahlala nothile ekuhluphekeni kwakhe ngaphandle kokuntshonwa, akwenze azame ukukho, azame ukukho.

Ukucwaninga ngokukhula ngemva kokulimala kwesimilo kusikisela ukuthi ngokuvamile kuhilela ukuvuselelwa kwencazelo. UShaya angathola injongo ekunikezeni abanye abalwayo necala elifanayo, aguqulele ubuhlungu bakhe bangasese ebuhlakani babantu bonke. Indaba yakhe, eyake yaba yihlazo, iba ukulandisa kokusinda nokuhlanganisa, hhayi indaba yokuwa nokuhlala phansi, kodwa ukuwa, kodwa ukukhushulelwa kokuqonda okusha. Isihluthulelo siwukuthi akawulahli umuzwa wakhe wecala kodwa uyawusebenzisa, ukhiphe izifundo zayo lapho elahla izinsalela zawo ezinobuthi. Lokhu kuveliswa nokwenzeka ngamandla angokwengqondo angathi icala linqamuka, manje elibuyiselwe ekusebenzeni kwalo ngokugcwele. Ukuhlakanipha kwakhe okungokomzwelo kumenza akwazi ukulihlaziya loluhambo lwakhe, ukuvumelana kwakhe nokuzivumela ukuba abe negama lakhe elisha, futhi aqiniseke ukuthi ukuvumelana.

Izindawo Eziwusizo Zokusetshenziswa Kwezwe Langempela

Nakuba uShaya Ishida engase ibe yindawo eqanjiwe, izisusa ezingokwengqondo azifanekisayo zingabantu kakhulu. Abafundi abazibhekayo kokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo bangazithola ukuqonda okuningana okusebenzayo. Okokuqala, bahlukanisa phakathi komuzwa wecala onempilo obonisa isidingo sokushintsha necala elingapheli elibonisa isidingo sokuzibamba. Okwesibili, hlakulela isimiso esifushane sokuzisekela esinikeza kokubili umbono ofanele noqotho. Ukuzifaka phansi ulwenzelo oluqondile olubangela ukuba ube necala, ukulinganisela okulubangelayo, ukulinganisela okuvamile. Okwesithathu, ukuzama ngemikhuba emincane yengqondo efana nemihla ngemihla. [F.]

Okwesine, uma icala lihlangene nezenzakalo ezithile zesikhathi esidlule, cabangela inqubo yokuthethelela ehlelwe kahle, hhayi ukuthethelela abanye, kodwa ukuzithethelela wena ngokwakho. Isibonelo esakhiwa [u- Dr. Kristin Neff futhi abanye bahlanganisa izinyathelo ezinjengokuvuma ukulimala, ukwamukela umthwalo wemfanelo ngaphandle kokuzifaka imingcele ebanzi, futhi ukwenza isibopho sokuzibophezela emazingeni aphezulu okuphila okuzihambela phambili. Ekugcineni, hlela indaba: awuyena umuntu onecala, kodwa umuntu oye wenza isenzo esivela olwazini olungaphelele, futhi oqhubeka efunda. Lokhu kulandisa akukuthetheli izenzo ezidlulele kodwa kushintsha ukuphila okuhlala kuvulekile.

Isiphetho

Ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo kukaShaya Ishida ngokwengqondo — egcwele ukuhlakanipha okungokomzwelo, ukuvumelana nezimo, uzwela, nokukwazi ukubhekana nezimo ngokuzihlola okucacile zokwenza uvubukulo lubonakale lunamandla agqamile. Umthwalo wecala, ususa ezinqumweni zangaphambili, ukungaziboni, kanye namathemba angaphakathi, ungasusa amandla akhe amenza ahluke. Kodwa phakathi nalempi kunendlela yokuguqula inguquko. Ngokusuka ekuzibonakaliseni kwento enzima kakhulu ukuze ubonise, usuka ekuzibekeleni inseleleni, ekuzisekeleni ukungazinzi, nasekuzichayeni, nasekuzibekeni imingceleni, angawabuyisela amandla akhe okusebenza kwengqondo yakhe ngaphandle kokulahla isimilo sakhe. Umgomo awukho ukuba ube necala elikhululekile kodwa eliwukunqumayo ukuze athole ngaphandle kokwaziqondisa, ngaphandle kokuziqondisa, ukuzilawula, ukubhekana namathuba okuzihambela, futhi angakhuliswa kakhulu, futhi angakhuliswa kakhulu, futhi angakhuliswa, ngaphambi kokuba abe necala.