Umsebenzi Ozinzileyo Wezono Ezisixhenxe Ezibulalayo

Kwiminyaka engaphezu kwewaka elinesiqingatha, irelabhuli yezono ezisixhenxe ezibulalayo , ukubawa, inkanuko, umona, ubudlakudla, kunye nobubheja, iye yayila ingcamango yokuziphatha yehlabathi laseNtshona. Ukungaqali njengesixhobo sokufundisa esisekelwe eBhayibhileni kodwa njengesixhobo seemonki esidalwe nguEvagrius Pentus kwinkulungwane yesine kwaye kamva yahlulwa nguPopu Gregory I, obu bubi benzelwe ukudwelisa imimandla engaphakathi yomphefumlo. Namhlanje, zisebenza njengezinto ezingcwele zezakwalizwi. Zisebenza njengecebo lokuqonda ukuphuka nokulungisa iqhina lobuntu, ingakumbi umnqophiso onamandla, odla ngokuba ngulwalamano lwethu. Apha kuthetha ukuba iintlalo oluthe kratya, amaqela emidlalo, amaquququze amaququze amaqumrhu, amaqumrhu, amaqulunqile eeanci, amaqulu, amaqumrhu, amaqulund ’ adi, amaqulunqilene ngokudibanisa.

Izono ezisixhenxe ezibulalayo zidla ngokuchazwa kakubi njengezinto ezithintelwayo. Enyanisweni, zinamandla anamandla, angathintelwanga, aphelisa ukuthembana okugcina naliphi na iqela lobuzalwana kunye. Umboniso wobuzalwana ovavanywa zezi zono ulandela isangqa esibonakalayo: imvisiswano yokuqala ephazanyiswa likomkhulu, ukungcatsha okuqhawula umanyano, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, ````a uhambo olunyamekileyo oluya kuhlangula.' eli nqaku lihlola indlela isono ngasinye esisebenza ngayo phakathi kobuzalwana, indlela echananisa ngayo, kwaye iimeko ezithi phantsi kwemeko ezibangela ukuba kubekho uxolelwaniso lokwenyaniso.

Imvelaphi Yamandulo Nokunconywa Kwezono Kwezi mini

Igama lesiLatin i-vitamia qualia, elithetha “izinto ezimbi,” lisikhumbuza ukuba ezi zono zithathwa njengezinto eziphambili ezihamba ezinye izono. UThomas Aquinas waphikisa ngelithi ikratshi yayingesiso isono esinye phakathi kwabaninzi kodwa esona sohlobo lwesono . Ukuziguqula ngokugqithiseleyo ulwalamano olulungileyo nabanye kunye nenyaniso. Xa sisebenzisa esi sibona ukuba ubuzalwana sisuka kwiqela elisondeleyo elisuka kwisiphithiphithiphithi-m esiziqhubini esithanda ukuthandeka umntu ngamnye. Oku kuqonda akuphelelanga kunqulo. Ingqondo yanamhlanje iqonda ukuba amandla afanayo kwiqela le-''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Ukucazulula ingxubusho, kuyanceda ukuchaza ngokufutshane ezono ezisixhenxe, hayi njengeqela elingabonakaliyo kodwa njengezinto eziphicothiweyo zomnqweno obonakala kubomi beqela lemihla ngemihla. Ufundo 2023 kwi-screenshorensing seqela elishicilelwe iJournal of Secoration Behavior[ ichaza imeko-mntu ngamnye engathintelwanga kunye nezibonelelo eziqokelelwayo. /nazo ezi ntlobo zigcina ikratshi kunye nokubawa, qhatha / ) ezinobangela eziphambili “umonakalo ongundoqo” ekuxhase okudibeneyo ([ ugcino [FLT]]). Ukuqonda ezi yindlela ziyindlela yokuqala ekuthinteleni ukungcatshwa okuqhelekileyo.

Ikratshi: Indalo Engaqhelekanga

KuDante ka uNxulumano lobuthixo , ikratshi ligobe phantsi phantsi phantsi kwamatye anzima, umfanekiso wombongo wendlela ikratshi elizikhetha ngayo kwaye lizithwalise umthwalo. Kubazalwana, ikratshi libonakala njengendlela yokungakwazi ukufumana ingxelo evakalayo, inyanzelo yokulawula ukwenza isigqibo, kunye nentelekelelo ethe cwaka yokuba iminikelo yakho ixabiseke kakhulu kunaleyo yabanye. Sisono somgama othe nkqo. Umzalwana onekratshi ujonga ulwalamano lungelulo umanyano oluthe tyaba kodwa njengentambo yeqela elilinganayo.

Ukungathembeki okubangelwa likratshi kusoloko kungumsebenzi othe rhoqo, opholileyo. Inkokeli `okanye naliphi na ilungu elinekratshi) liza kungavumi ukuvuma impazamo, liza kutyhola abanye xa imisebenzi isilela, likhuphe neemfuno ezingokweemvakalelo zeqela. Kwiqela leDirectus lenkqubela, umzekelo, isikhokelo sobugcisa esisoloko siphazamisa izigqibo zokwakha ezidibeneyo ngenxa yokuzichaza ngokuphezulu kwesiqinisekiso sawo sibangela ingquzukunyela. Amanye amalungu aziva ebuthathaka, aphelelwa ngamandla, kwaye ukuthemba okwakha kwaba neqela lobuzalwana liphela de kube kukupheliswa okanye ukurhoxatywa okuqhelekileyo.

Ukubawa: Ityhefu yeZero-Sum

Ukubawa sisono sokufumana into engonelisekanga, kodwa kubazalwana akufane kuxhalatyelwe ngemali kuphela. Kubonakala njengokuqokelela imali, ukunqwenela amathuba angcono, okanye ukusebenzisa kakubi izinto eziluncedo ukuze umntu aqhubele phambili. Imposiso engundoqo yengqondo yokubawa iguqula ulwalamano oluninzi lube kukuswela. Ubuzalwana luxhaphakile ngengqiqo yokuba impumelelo yomntu inika ubutyebi bonke; ukubawa kuyayiphelisa loo ngcamango.

Ukungcatsha ngenxa yokubawa kudla ngokuthatha uhlobo lwendawo yokusebenza. Qwalasela iqela elisungulileyo lesiqalo, iqela labazalwana lale mihla. Xa omnye umseki ethetha ngokufihlakeleyo ngesabelo esikhulu sesatifiketi okanye isivumelwano esisecaleni nabanikazi betyala, baye batshintshisa ukunyaniseka ngokwembuyiselo yabo. Inxeba litshonisa kakhulu kunelahleko yemali; lixelela amanye amalungu ukuba iminyaka yawo yobusuku bokuhlwaya yaye ukuchachacha kwawo zizinto zomnye umntu. Ukuhlangulwa kobuqhetseka akufuni nje kuphela kunyuswa kodwa kuyimfuneko yokufumana imigaqo yeqela esisiseko yokulungisa imilinganiselo engaphandle nokulunga.

ILust: Ibhombu Enamandla

Ngokuqhelekileyo inkanuko incitshiswa kwinkanuko yesini, kodwa kwimeko yobuzalwana ibonakalisa nayiphi na inkanuko ebangela ulwaneliseko olunzulu ngaphezu kozibopho ezikhoyo. Isenokuba sisini, njengaxa ilungu lisukela iqabane lelinye ilungu, okanye inokuba ngumdla wokufuna ukutsha, amandla, okanye amava anzulu angokweemvakalelo aphazamisa ukuzinza kweqela. ULust uphatha ubuzalwana njengendawo elula ebangel ’ umdla kwimidlalo yobuqu.

Ukungcatsha inkanuko kungumsindo. USales oselula, onobuchule obuphezulu okhokela kwi-Draice usenokuqalisa incoko efihlakeleyo neqabane losebenza naye. Xa ifunyanisiwe, ukurhoxa kuyintlekele kungekuphela nje kumalungu akhoyo kodwa kwiqela lonke, elimele ngoku lisebenzise ibhombu eligqunywe lilonke, ukuhleba, nokuchanabeka ngokusemthethweni. I-asterences zobuzalwana zingqubana ngenxa yokuba isono sinesikhali sobuhlobo. I-Reastlection inokwenzeka, kodwa ifuna i-IMPII, imida, kwaye idla ngokusetyenziswa kwezakhono zokulungisa imekobume ekhuselekileyo. Umsebenzi wesazi sengqondo uJohn Gottman unikela ulwalamano olulungeleleneyo: ukuxolelana, akunakuba lungaxelelwa nje; kufuneka kube luguqulo oluqhubekayo, olungabonakaliyo ([FL:[1]).

Umona: Ukungathethi Kwabantu

Ngokungafaniyo nokubawa, okufuna ukukufumana, umona awunakukwazi ukumelana nento entle yomnye umntu. Kubazalwana, umona usenokuhlasela ubuchule bobugcisa bomntu asebenza naye, iqabane lakhe elilula, okanye ubomi obuzinzileyo bomhlobo. Ilungu elinomona alifuni nje into enayo omnye; lifuna omnye aphulukane nayo, aphelise.

Ukungcatsha ngomona kuyinto engabonakaliyo. Kwiqela elilawula i-software, omnye umbhekisi phambili angasoloko engayithobeli iminikelo yontanga, alisuse kakuhle igama layo kwimithi esetyenziswayo, okanye alinyanzele kwintlanganiso zabathengi. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, ixhoba lomona lizahlula kwaye lidume kakubi. Amandla abazalwana akhutshwayo kuba umona ubangela ukuba umntu ajonge ngaphakathi ekuquququzelweni kweqela elithile lize libandakanye. Umona ufuna ukuba iqela likhuthaze isithethe sokwenyaniso sokubhiyozela izipho zelungu ngalinye, qhawe kwaye lifanele liqheliselwe ngamandla ngenxa yemicimbiso nokubulela.

Ukudla: Ukugqithisela Okuthwaxa Abanye

Igluttony, ngokwesithethe ukusetyenziswa kakhulu kokutya nokusela, kwandisa ubuzalwana naluphi na uhlobo lobuxhakaxhaka obungavumelaniyo nabanye. Kusenokuba ngumbandela wokoqobo wokukhenketha apho imvumi isoloko ikhupha umlinganiselo wento edibeneyo ngokuphela komdla, okanye ubudlakudla bokomfuziselo ukuze iqwalaselwe, ityala, okanye ubunkenenkene. Ilungu elidla ngokudla lisebenzisa ngaphezu kokwabelana kwazo izinto zeqela ezikhoyo.

Iziphumo zokungcatshwa zingabonakala zincinane kukwahlulwa kodwa ziphinda-phindiwe. Xa umntu omnye esoloko engaphumeleli ukuthwala isabelo somthwalo osebenzayo, / ukukhulula isiqingatha soxwebhu esibhalwe phantsi, iibugs ezingatshaziswanga, abaxhasi abangakhange banyanzele abanye emsebenzini ophezulu. Ukucaphuka komdla akubangelwa sisiganeko esinye esiphawulekayo kodwa kuba umncedi wemini weminikelo akalungelelani. Ulwalamano lomntu ohambayo phantsi kobunzima bokungalungisi. Apha ukunciphisa kubandakanya umvalo oluqinileyo: umgaqo obhaliweyo womsebenzi, ukuvala ixesha, nokubonakala ngaphaya komcimbiso obonakalayo kuwo onke amalungu.

Umsindo: Umsindo Obangela Ukuba Ungabi Nanto Imbi

Umsindo ngumsindo ongenakubakho ngesizathu. Kukubethana, ngamazwi okanye emzimbeni, okubeka phambili ukukhululwa komsindo ngenxa yogcino lolwalamano. Kubazalwana, ingqumbo idla ngokuvela ngexesha eliphezulu lokucinezeleka (a) umlinganiselo ogqithisiweyo, isindululo esingaphumeleliyo, ukungavumelani kokudala okuba yinto yobuqu. Umsindo ngokwawo awusisono; yimvakalelo ebonisa ukuba umda uwelwe. Ubushushu buba sisono esibulalayo xa ubekwa kwingqumbo, emva koko ulwenzelo oluyingozi.

Ukungcangcazeliswa ngengqumbo kuyinto ekhawulezileyo nephazamisayo. Umyili ophezulu kwi-Draiceancy angamngxolisa umbhekisi phambili weqela lonke, esebenzisa ulwazi lobungozi bawo ukuze abangele umonakalo omkhulu. Amazwi angenakungasetyenziswa. Ukuthemba okuvumela ukuhlaselwa sisifo kuthathelwe indawo luloyiko. Amanye amalungu ayakungqina ukudumba kwaye aqalise ukuzifihla, iimpazamo, aze azenze mgama-mfutshane ukuze aphephe ukuba lixhoba elilandelayo. Ubuzalwana lusebenzisa ingqokelela yabantu abalumkileyo. Ukuchanaba komsindo akufuni kuxolelwa kuphela kodwa kufuneke ukusuka nje kuvutho lwemizwano elawulayo, ngokufuthi ngenkxaso engoochwepheshe, kunye nenkqubo engoomntu ozikhusela ngokweemvakalelo. Imanyano lwaseMelika inikeza izikhokelo kulawulo lomsindo olulungele ukulawulwa (FFF:[1]). [FFF]

ISloth: Intambo Yokuzibophelela

Ubuvila asibobuvila kwingqiqo yengqondo. Isithethe sezakwalizwi sibuqonda njenge- acedia ```ukungakhathali ngokomoya, ukungakhathaleli iimfuno zothando nemisebenzi. Kubuzalwana, ibhethri ithatha uhlobo lokungafezeki okungapheliyo, ukungakwazi ukubonakalisa xa kuyimfuneko, nokungathandi ukwenza umsebenzi ongokweemvakalelo wokulondoloza ulwalamano. Ilungu lerhawu lisemzimbeni kodwa lingekho emoyeni.

Esi sono sibonakalisa ubuzalwana ngokusilela. Xa umphathi wemveliso etyeshela ukuxhasa iqela lakhe kwintlanganiso egxekayo, kungekhona ngenxa yobubi kodwa ngenxa yokungakhathali okungenaludwe, lonke iqela lifumana iziphumo ezingazukufunyanwanga. Ukungcatshwa kusisinye sokungakhathali, kwaye inxeba lalo kukuziva ngathi ubuzalwana abuyonto iphambili. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, amalungu akhutheleyo ayatsha ngenxa yokuthwala ubunzima bokungaqiniseki. Ukukhulula kufuna ukubuyiselwa komsebenzi, ukuvuselelwa kwesizathu sokuba umsebenzi udibene, kunye nento ebangela ukuba kuphinde kuqululwe injongo.

Ukungcatsha Ebuzalwaneni

Ukungcatsha akuyonto ingenamsebenzi. Kubazalwana abachazwa ngezono ezisixhenxe ezibulalayo, ukungcatshwa kuqhubekeka kumanqanaba amathathu: imbewu, isenzo, nomphumo. Imbewu kukuvuma ngaphakathi kwisono .(ixesha lokuqhayisa xa umntu egqiba umgwebo wakhe lingaphezulu kunabanye, okanye ixesha lomona xa ekholiswa kukungathobeli komnye. Isenzo sisenzo sangaphandle esichasene nokuchasana nokhuseleko lwengqondo okanye ikhowudi ecacileyo. Umphumo kukukhukuliseka kwengqondo, amalungu azixelela ngokwawo ngesiganeko, kunye nokuguquka kweqela.

Uphando lokuthembana kwimibutho ephezulu ekhutshwayo efana neqela lomlilo kunye namaqela otyando lubonisa ukuba kwanenye eqwalaselweyo yokungcatsha ingalonakalisa ngokusisigxina umsebenzi weqela ngaphandle kokuba ibhekiswe kumthetho woxolelwaniso olucwangcisiweyo ( umthombo ). Izono ezisixhenxe ezibulalayo zinika amagama okuchaza ingcambu yokungcakaza, elona nyathelo libalulekileyo. “Okwathi konakala kwethu bekungekokuba nje uthathe ityala; yayiyinyongokubawa. Akuthethi ukuba uyakhwaza; yayilumsindo nje.” Ukuqhatha isimo silungisa ngendlela elungileyo.

Ukukhululwa: Ukukhulula idyokhwe eyophukileyo

Uhlangulo aluzenzekelanga okanye alukhawulezi. Lufuna uthotho lwamanyathelo abonisa ubunzulu bobungcatshi. Uncwadi olukulungiso lobulungisa kunye nesigqibo seqela longquzulwano luchonga izinto ezininzi ezinganyanzelekanga: ukwamkela, ukubuyisela, utshintsho lokwakhiwa, kunye nokujongwa koxolelwano.

Ukwazi nokulila

Lowo wenze ukungathembeki kufuneka achaze ngokucacileyo oko akwenzayo, achaze isono esabangela umonakalo, aze achaze umonakalo owenziwe kubantu ngabanye nakumaqela. Oku akukokunyanzeleka ukuba acele uxolo; akucinezeleki. Kwindlela ezininzi zoxolelwaniso eziphumelelayo, amaqela akrexezayo athetha kuqala. "_ukunika isiphumo" phambi kokuba kunikelwe nakuphi na ukuzikhusela. Umsebenzi womngcatshi kukuphulaphula aze akuphinde oko akuvileyo, abonise ukuqonda okunyanisekileyo. Eli qonga lodwa lithatha iiveki okanye iinyanga emva kokuchasana okunzulu.

Uhenyuzo Nobuhenyu

Ngelixesha ezinye zomonakalo zingenakususwa, amanyathelo aqinisekisiweyo kufuneka athathwe ukubuyisela ingxengxezo. Ukuba ukubawa kukhokelela ekubeni ubethwe ngemali, ukuhlawula okupheleleyo kwenzala kuxhomekeke ekugqibeleni. Ukuba iSloth ibangele abanye ukuba bathwale umthwalo, ilungu elalingawufaki umsebenzi ongafanelekanga ixesha elithile elichaziweyo. Ukubuyiselwa akungokuba nesohlwayo kodwa kumele kuboniswe ukuba umngcatshi ukulungele ukuthwala indleko yokuphinda angenelele kubuzalwana.

Iinguqulelo Nezinto Ezithintelayo

Abazalwana abanakubuyela kwiimeko ezifanayo ezabangela ukuba isono sisebenze. Izakhiwo ezintsha zibalulekile: ii-'check' zemihla ngemihla eziza kukhutshwa likratshi, ulawulo lwemali oluthintela ukuxhatshazwa, ukungquzulana okuthi kuthintele ingqumbo ngaphambi kokuba isetyenziswe kakubi, kwaye zicombulule iziphumo zokungakhathaleli okugqithisileyo. Ubuzalwana obuthemba okona kulungileyo emva kokungcatshwa okukhulu bubo obuza kungcatshwa kwakhona. Utshintsho lwesakhiwo lubonisa ukuba iqela liye lafunda kwaye linengxaki yokukhusela amalungu alo.

Ukuxolelwa Nokunyamezela Okujongwa Njengomntu Othile

Uhlangulo asisosiganeko sexesha elinye kodwa sisenkqubo yokwakha kwakhona ukholoso kwintsebenzo encinci. Umngcatshi kufuneka aphile phantsi kokuhlolwa kwexesha elithile, kungekhona njengehlazo kodwa njengewonga. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, ukuba ukuziphatha kwabo kuyaguquguquka, iqela lingaqalisa ukuthetha ngoqhawuko kwixesha elidlulileyo. Intethelelo, ngokwengqiqo yengqondo, sisigqibo sokuyeka ilungelo lokuziphindezela. Ayibusi inkumbulo okanye ibuyisela ulwalamano olupheleleyo. Sisigqibo sokuvula ucango lomntu omtsha, onobulumko, nosoloko ubunzulu bobuzalwana kunangaphambili.

Xa Ukukhululwa Kusilela: Ukungakhululeki Okubekekileyo

Asibo bonke abazalwana abavalelwe zizono ezibulalayo abanokusinda okanye abamele baphile. Ngamanye amaxesha isono sixhaphake kangaka `umseki onekratshi eliqinileyo, iphulo elinomona elithe lafunyanwa ```lokukhululana' ngokukhuselekileyo nokusempilweni) kukukhululana kwiqhina. Ukuqhawuka okubekekileyo kubhekiselele kwizinto ezazikhe zabakho ngexa uvuma ukuba imo eyingozi. Amalungu angakudambisa ukulahlekelwa, afunde izifundo, aze athwale ezo zifundo kwimibango yexesha elizayo. Ukukhululana kwezi meko kuba yinto eluncedo: ilungu ngalinye elikhoyo lisebenzela ukunyoba lizinyoba.

Uqheliselo Oluqhubekayo Lwesidima

Imithi yokunyanga izono ezisixhenxe ezibulalayo iye yafundiswa zintanda-bulumko kunye nabingcali zonyango ngokufanayo. Ukuthobeka kuyalihlola ikratshi. Ukubonakalisa ikratshi nokuzilawula koqeqesho kuyalamba. Ububele kunye nokubhiyozela koyisa inkanuko. Ububele bokoyisa ukuxhathisa kobudla. Ukuzondeka nokuthantamisa kuthoba ingqumbo. Umbilini kunye nokunyathela kwentliziyo epheleleyo. Ubuzalwana obunzulu ngobomi bomntu akanakuxhomekeka kulawulo lwengxaki. Lumele lwakhe isithethe esiqheliselana ngamandla ezi mpawu zintluko ngemikhwa yemihla ngemihla: ukuvumela abanye abantu, ukugqithisa imivuzo neminyeliso, izithethe zonxibelelwano ezibonisa imbonakalo ecacileyo, kunye nokuzibophelela kunye nokumelana nembewu encinane yesono ngaphambi kokuba bangenele ekungcakeni kwabo.

Ezi zono zisixhenxe zibulalayo asingoluhlu oluphelelwe lixesha. ZisisiXhobo sokuxilonga, xa sisetyenziswa ngokunyaniseka, sinokusindisa iqela, inkampani, iqela labahlobo, okanye intsapho yokoqobo ekonakaleni. Ubuzalwana obuvavanywa likratshi, ukubawa, inkanuko, ubudlabha, ingqumbo, ingqumbo, ingqumbo; ke bona abazalwana abafunda ukuwabona la mandla, bamelane nokungcatshwa kwawo, baze bahambe kwindlela ende yokukhulula abakhange balungiseke kodwa baguquke, ngokuzinzisa emlilweni owakha wasongela ukuwatshabalalisa.